Border Jumper Hash House Harriers

A Drinking Club With A Running Problem

Soap Box Rants

This section of the website is to allow the GM a place
 to say things that are best said outside of circle so the hash
 can read this and understand any issues, problems, announcements, concerns, etc.


Saturday, September 07, 2013

Let me start by saying " It's all Dickies fault, it's all Dickies fault."

 I am looking forward to our erections, next week. That being said, I'm not sure I agree to the details of how we are going to choose your next new leaders - the mismanagement MM team.

 Work and family have kept me from being "all that I can be" so next weekend I will be offering up the next bastard's name. But I do want to leave a last word as GM.

 First of all, there are too many MM positions. As much as an absent GM who we need to replace and beer meisters, whips, and RAs who can't be there on our holy day because they have obligations on Saturdays: d

 Do we need a separate MM hasher to post on the internet. Do we need a separate MM hasher to buy shirts. Do we need our old guys to be on MM to tell us the way of the BJ.

 We need a GM, an On-Sec, a Hare Raiser, a Haberdasher, and Beer Meister. A GM who can make the HASH a priotity and show it every Saturday and MM meeting (and Wednesday, too). An On - Sec who is a clerk and secretary and treasurer built into one. A Hare Raiser who schedules and trains and posts and doesnt have to call someone else and ask permission to post on our www.bjhash page. A Haberdasher who gets to sell and buy tshirts patches and haberdashery for the Hash. A beer meister who will be there on Saturday and Tuesday with our mother's milk-cold beer that taste good, like our harrietes. And, an RA (amongst all the old guys) who will guide us into the future and not live in their past glory days as GM and tell us how we are not doing things right and yet want to impose new RULES into a hash culture where there are NO RULES.

 Truth be told, there is not one amongst us that are worthy of the true job of Mismanagement. But as we take on new responsibilities we grow.

 Letting things get this far gone is Dickies' fault. But believe it or not, I do not see anyone right now who I can whole heartedly recommend to be GM. If I have overlooked you, SPEAK UP. If you desire to be in a MM position, unnammed, named, veteran, or even you internet stalker SPEAK UP.

 Hash tonight 5pm kings x, hash Wednesday 7pm, vote next week. SPEAK UP NOW.



Saturday, February 16, 2013

 Hola Half-Minds!

This rant will be nice and short, just like Wednesday trails.

REGO for Flashmob 4.20, NOW!

 Support the Wednesday HASH.

 Make it to 4pm and 7pm trail ON TIME.

 Pay your HASH CASH, no IOUs.

 Start at PT A, follow trail to PT B.

 Sing and drink like a BJ at circle.

 STEP UP if you want to LEAD.

 Bring a VIRGIN or BACKSLIDER to the next trail.

 Sign up to HARE.


 · promote physical fitness among our members

 · get rid of hangovers

 · acquire a good thirst and to satisfy it in beer, and,

 · persuade the older members that they are not as old as they feel


d d


Sunday, January 13, 2013
Greetings to all BJs, gobleteers, practicing hashers and all of the 70+ half-minds who regularly browse our Border Jumper HHH page. I would love to see you all at the hash and in circle but I do understand that service to our country and family obligations across the US have taken you away from us, your BJ family in El Paso.

Happy New Year!

We are off and running, I mean hashing. We rang the new year in with an intimate celebration and January 1st Hangover Trail, at the site where we will host Flashmob 4.20

Already we have Border Jumped our way over the New Mexico state line (1/12) to hash with our Las Cruces and Alamogordo brothers and sisters. On Friday (1/18) we will welcome Hashers from across Texas and beyond to continue the "outlaw trail" tradition.

We are not only outlaws, we are ambassadors of appropriate hash behavior, too. While keeping outlaw traditions, BJs are encouraged to join our other El Paso brothers and sisters at their annual INTERCOURSE event. As diplomats, gentlemen, and scholars, I and at least 3 other mismanagers will rego and participate.

We have so much to look forward to. On 1/26, Las Cruces will travel to join us for Hash #720. Black Lingerie on February 16, Green Dress on March 16, Flashmob 4.20 on April 19-21, and Texas Interhash on May 3-5. JOIN US!

See you on trail.

d d


Thursday, September 20, 2012
Three major topics to discuss with the Hash
#1 topic: Hares
Step Up! BJs love BJs and need to share the love and give BJs. Sign up for your hashy civic duty.

We're about to lose our hare raiser (and RA & songstress) and have no hares set up for the next of many runs.

a. Every member of mismanagement will be assigned a Saturday hash to hare. Start thinking about where you will run your hash. Let Moose know your theme, Point A, and on-after. You want to be a leader, Step Up! If you don't like your weekend, trade it. Absolutely no refunds.

b. Gobleteers (not in mismanagement), active and residing in El Paso will be hunted down and tagged with a saturday hash to hare. Let the show us, remind us why they love BJs. Its time again for them to Step Up!

c. Hare Virgins, need the practice and the experience. Veteranos, pair up with our newly named hashers and virgins alike, and show them how to do it. They drink the beer, taste the wine, sing the songs. Now its time to ask them to Step Up, too!

#2 topic: finances
Simply put, we are drinking more beer than hash cash coming in. This weekend helped. We asked everyone to bring a six pack and hash cash. Most did and we only had to buy 2 - 30 packs. If we stick to one beer summit per month, we just might break even by X-mas.

#3 topic: flash mob
Our 2 leads have gone dry. the hacienda place doesn't seem that interested in us, go figure. but the Clint lead is not yet dead. Hopefully we can get back in contact with the owner, visit and give you guys a report.

d d


Wednesday, August 22, 2012
As promised, a glimpse into the pro-active direction that GM Dickie Do plans for the Border Jumper kennel. ON-ON into the end of summer, as fall approaches, and forward into the bright future.

On the surface, its quite simple. Think of three R's, Recruitment, Relationships, Respect.

Recruitment: take our hash number pre-run pics; update website with current hashers' pics; more themed runs;;promote local social and charitable events, construct a parade float; hold the Abraham Circle more often; and begin an active recruitment campaign.

Relations: continue VIP treatment for our visiting hashers, create dog collars, invite other kennels into the flashmob committee process, send more delegates / delegations to out of town hash events, and actively support our Southwest area kennels.

Respect: allow personal conflicts to remain personal, KISS, stop bullying others and never be the victim of others' intimidation. And most importantly, stay FB positive.

d d


Wednesday January 18, 2012:

Hashers of El Paso, I am here to tell you that I had a very good time at this year’s TexMex sponsored by EPH3’s Porta John &
Bi-Da-Numbers. And I want to personally thank the many other hard working half-minds that out did themselves with their hash hospitality as they tried to provide Hashers from around the globe with a fantastic and memorable weekend full of beer, food,
half-minded silliness, beer, food, beer, shitty trails, & beer- that they just might not remember. Some Hashers that partook of TexMex may not remember TexMex no matter how hard they try. (And that’s a complement in and of itself!)

Back on point; sadly the weekend was good but not great or awesome as it should have been. This tragedy may be due to a lack of half-minded fellowship harmony and respect being displayed by some of the area hashers that may have forgotten what hashing is and what it’s about. It is also possible that some have never learned what it is to be a true half-mind.

As the GM of the awesome Border Jumper Hash House Harriers “BJs” my intention is to remedy this situation the best way that
I know how. The best possible way that I could come up with is to share a beverage with anyone carrying a grudge with anyone that attends a Hash in the El Paso area. Whether they be BJ, SMHash or EPH3 matters not, I would love to share a pint and Hash conversation with you. The conversation I speak of would be primarily centered around the joy in my heart with what Father “G” has created and with what I have found in the many Hashes around the globe that I have been fortunate enough to have been on trail and shared a beverage with.

Ultimately and as a show of good half-minded will, I want to extend a special invitation to the EPH3 Mismanagement.

 Hare Ye, Hare Ye!! As the BJ GM I want to personally welcum the EPH3 GM, RA, OnSex, and Haberdasher to every Border Jumper H3 event FREE OF HASH CASH CHARGE henceforth and for ever more in the Hashing world and Hashing universe. Also EPH3 GMs past and current will always be free of charge; So be It. So It Shall be to B and to “G”!!

 We’re happy ~ We’re jolly ~ We’re Fucked Up by Golly!! If you’re not then we’ll miss you, but we won’t be sad to see you go.

 While drama is a part of the hash, it is not a requirement. And your ego will never deserve the respect of any Hasher.

 From the beer splashed desk of the BJ's GM at Hudson's Grill.

 --//--> CumsDumpsGoes


Wednesday December 21, 2011:

Hola BJs!!

This is my 1st posting to the BJs GM’s Corner and I want to share with you some items that we your mismanagement discussed recently. Some serious and some not so serious but all are geared toward making a Border Jumper hash as fun and safe as stupidly possible. Believe it or not we do have your safety in half-mind! Every single BJ should feel as free as possible to do as they like within the confines of our events. However if you do not have a plan to get home after enjoying the Border Jumping hell out of yourself, you could place yourself in a position that might prevent you from hashing with us. And no one wants that! We really do want you back on trail every Saturday and for all of our Special events. To do that, you will need a plan to get home safely after partaking of the many beverages that we offer at our events. One way to do that is to have a hash buddy that will keep you from getting beyond your capability for the night. Hash buds are a good idea for other reasons as well on and off trail. Our Whip, the Good Sir Cockeyed will occasionally pair you up if you are a sad lonely pathetic individual like me.

Unfortunately sometimes we do have people attending our hash that do not respect the traditions of hashing. We will continue to do our best to educate everyone what the hash is and how it originated. No matter how long you've been hashing there is still much to learn and love about our chosen weekly distraction. Where ever you go to hash, there is an expected standard of good conduct. Hashers should display respect and common courtesy to all of our fellow hashers around the globe. That may seem strange to you if a kennel has traditions that seem somewhat harsh, but it is respect none the less.

Below are the some of our ideas to ensure your safety and our promise to you that anyone not adhering to the guidelines of good conduct at our events will not be invited back, and may subject themselves to escalated measures depending on severity. There is not a "Three Strikes" rule here. If your conduct threatens anyone at a Border Jumper event you are out!

1. No harassing the Harriett’s especially virgins.

1.1. No Means No. If you are being harassed please let the Mis-Managers know immediately.

The GM asks that Fellow Harriets look out for each other on trail and at all events. The Mismanagement Harriets know what I mean when I say that “We want you not only to feel free to be yourself, but to actually reassure you that harassment will not be tolerated.“

1.2. Fellows: Must be aware of people that are pressuring and antagonistic beyond the limits of what seems reasonable.

1.3 Do not try to handle a situation alone. If a situation arises, the more that know what's going on the better.

2. Christmas Holiday Hash

2.1. Location for A on upcoming Saturday – Butt Darts has the trail under control and it will be a BJ event. But you can choose to hash with EPH3 as well.

2.2 Year End Awards (i.e. “Most Hashes attended in the Year” “Least dressed/Most Naked” “Most Virgins Brought” “Most Hares” and so on.

2.3 Table awards for next year Dec 2012

3. Texas Interhash

3.1 Skit - Tabled until all return from travel in the New Drinking Year.

4. Hash Cash Raffle Items/Events to earn hash cash to buy haberdashery items.

4.1. Clothing donations.

4.2. People/Services Auctions

4.3. Garage Sale, everyone donate an item to sell and need a volunteer to host.

4.4. Party with a head charge.

5. CDG is not a fan of dogs and babies at the hash but agrees that the Hash has that vote.

5.1. All are welcome as family to the BJs, not necessarily as hashers.

5.2. Border Jumper events are clearly adult in nature and not meant for children.

5.3. Under 21 need not pay as they do not partake of Hash beverages and may be events may counted as a separate chart from the adults. Cash may be offered if they want water/sodas/snacks

5.4. The hash is not obligated to change their behavior because of the children, especially after knowing the kind of hash we are.

6. 2nd Goblet earning? / Lost or Stolen Goblet / Broken Goblet

6.1. A “Round Table” of the Gobleteers should determine the guidelines for the topics below:

6.2. If a goblet dies an honorable death, a new goblet will be awarded (minimal humiliation)

6.3. Lost or stolen goblets requires a whole other set of things to do to re earn it. Possibly even a embarrassing substitute.

6.4. A 2nd Goblet should have a much harder or more difficult set of things to do

6.5. Naked Goblet is a no-no, especially after its first appearance back from its initial issue. Full goblet down down for every visit to a BJ event is possible.

I welcome your thoughts and ideas regarding the topics above and any other topics that you may have.

--//-- > CDG


Sunday August 28, 2011:

I know things are bleak with Cheater and all but I have to add to the bad news.

Cock Eye and I have discussed, agreed, and decided to discontinue the Wednesday hash for a while. No exact timeframe has been decided. This is in no way a response to the number of attendees on a typical Wednesday. The numbers have actually been pretty good, this is more to allow everyone a break from the hash and not get burnt out; including the  mismanagement.

Instead this should inspire everyone to come out on saturdays with a thirst for beer and a hunger for the BJ circle; with lots of liveliness and stories to share with our brother and sister hashers.

Unless a visitor comes during the middle of the week and wants to party with us, there will be no more wednesday hashes for a while.

This will all take effect after the 7th of September, if you have any questions please feel free to call or text me.

             Moose Knuckle


Friday April 29, 2011:
This past Wednesday, on April 27th, the hash continued even though there was no GM, or formal whip, the BJ hashers took it upon themselves to keep the BJs alive. In the past, during the summer months, attendance had died down to a minimum and the Wednesday hash was  deferred for a while. As a veteran BJ I really don't want to see this happen again, as it has happened in the past, so please lets keep the Wednesday hash going strong and not let the BJ fire fizzle out.

             Moose Knuckle


Tuesday March 22, 2011:
I would just like to say a few words to those that were there this past green  dress run. First off I am very glad things didn't get any worse, no one was seriously injured, and that hopefully everyone had a great time. The trail had it all, shiggy, public viewing of our wonderful dresses, and even a shot check at the local Western Beverages. The paramount quality our hash was missing that day was control, at some point in time things got out of hand and not even the whips could rally everyone together again; then the accident happened.  I hold no one responsible and only wish for the hash to remember the respects of circle. Lets all do a better job of self control so we can all have a constructively debaucherous good time =O)

             Moose Knuckle


Saturday December 18, 2010:
It has come to my attention that there are still certain hashers out there that think it is okay to go to other hash groups and talk trash about their hash and/or try to recruit  their virgins. Let it be said one last time, this is not acceptable hash behavior whatsoever. Not only does it  give the BJ’s a bad name  but it also deters from the peace that Portajohn and I have been trying to create with in the two hashes. Please, if you bare witness to this kind of shenanigans try to kindly ask them to stop talking that way and/or pass me the word of what is going on so I can address them.  Thank You.

             Moose Knuckle


Tuesday December 14, 2010:
             I would just like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who comes out to the hash. The hash has really been flourishing this past few months and grown immensely. That is a great and wonderful thing, however with this growth comes some things that this hash hasn't had to deal with in quite a while. Please continue to hash and have a great time but just remember these things to make the experience fun for everyone.

1.  Drink Responsibly

2.  Respect Other Hashers, Being polite can go a long way

3.  Pay Attention At Circle: No one has it harder then the whip and it benefits everyone when we can all have  a
            great time together with as little private parties as possible.

4.  Take the time to learn  more about the hash and it’s traditions. Songs, how to lay trail, it’s history (G), etc.

Moose Knuckle